Basics of conflict management

Conflict is when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and haven't been aligned or agreed about yet, including:

1. Within yourself when you're not living according to your values;

2. When your values and perspectives are threatened; or

3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.

Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm, norm and perform" period. Getting the most out of diversity means often-contradictory values, perspectives and opinions.Conflict is often needed.

1. Helps to raise and address problems.

2. Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues.

3. Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate.

4. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.

Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.
Conflict is a problem when it:

1. Hampers productivity.

2. Lowers morale.

3. Causes more and continued conflicts.

4. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

Ways People Deal With Conflict

There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major ways that people use to deal with conflict.

1. Avoid it. Pretend it is not there or ignore it.a. Use it when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Usually this approach tendsto worsen the conflict over time.

2. Accommodate it. Give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself.a. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the verynear future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, andcauses conflicts within yourself.

3. Competing. Work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love accommodators.a. Use when you have a very strong conviction about your position.

4. Compromising. Mutual give-and-take.a. Use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on.

5. Collaborating. Focus on working together.

a. Use when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs.

b. Use when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.